I Don't Want to Jump
by Aleibag
Summary: When Sarah Reese's life take an unexpected turn, how will the Chicago Med family deal with the aftermath?
1. I don't want to jump

Sarah did not think about what she was doing at the moment.

She just acted.

Because she had failed Wheeler.

But she wouldn't fail this pacient too.

Anna was her pacient for the day. She had been admitted at the ED with two cuts on her wrist.

A suicide attempt.

Dr. Charles's words weren't successful with her, but Sarah on the other hand, had been able to get thought her and tried to connect, finding out that the main reason behind her suicide attempt was the fact that she'd been bullied at high school.

Her parents had trivialized the situation.

That was the first mistake.

Bullying should never, ever, be trivialized.

Otherwise it could end like this.

Someway (that Sarah couldn't still understand how) Anna had been able to sneak away from her room night time at the ED and without being noticed, get to the rooftop of Chicago Med, climbing up the edge of the building, threatening of jumping.

People saw it and the caos began.

In the meantime of Sarah being paged and making her way up, staff from the hospital, visitors and securities were gathered together a couple of feet away from were Anna stood. Dr. Charles were already there. Closer to Anna, whispering something that Reese couldn't hear but that unfortunately didn't seemed to be effective.

It took her a moment to consider her options at the situation.

But she didn't overthought it. She couldn't.

Not this time.

Dr. Charles had said once that she was intuitive.

She was taking that.

She made a sign silently asking for those who were there to step away from them, while catching Dr. Charles's eyes and trying to communicate.

Trust me, please.

He didn't objected, also stepping away quickly from Anna. Sarah took a moment to appreciate his total faith in her. That just made her want to do it right even more.

That was how she found herself climbing up towards the edge of the building standing side by side with Anna, but not actually looking at her.

Sarah looked down and all the blood seemed to drain out from her. She ignored the surprised whispers coming from the people that was watching them.

God, couldn't them just go away?

She recognized the cautious "Sarah" coming from Dr. Choi closer to her left, but again, she ignored.

Because Anna hadn't jumped yet.

All these people and all these minutes and she still hadn't jumped. Which meant that they still had a chance of telling her out of it.

Sarah forced herself to look at her.

That seemed to give Anna the confidence to speak.

"What are you doing?" She said with an alarmed voice.

"If you are going to jump, so I am." Sarah heard herself saying with a shaking voice. Clearing her throat, she took courage to keep speaking.

"Do you understand Anna? If you decide to jump out of this building, I'm going with you."

She tried really hard to ignore the shocking sounds coming from behind them but she recognized one voice that for a minute, made her question what she was doing and look back at the sound.

"Reese."

It was him.

Of course it was him.

Dr. Connor Rhodes was standing a couple of feet behind her with a hand up in her direction. His blue eyes carried so much worries and hesitation that Sarah didn't really understand why.

They weren't that close and despite the fact that they had been talking more since Wheeler's death, even sitting together sometimes at Mollys with their friends, she still thought that it wasn't typical of him to do something like that, for her.

But there he was.

He looked even more concerned than Ethan. Dr. Choi was standing alert close to him, and Sarah knew by his look that he was full of preoccupation but at the same time, his eyes were telling her that he trusted her.

Sarah smiled their way and tried to silently communicate, asking for space because even if she was absolutely touched (and a bit surprised) by their affection, she was still seeing the situation for what it was.

Because they were there for her.

But who was really there for Anna?

Her parents weren't there, Sarah noticed. Where the hell were they?

She turned her attention back to Anna. Who still hadn't jumped. Sarah noticed that Anna was now unsure of what was happening and that was good.

It meant it was working.

And hopefully Sarah was doing the right thing.

"Why would you do that?"

Sarah considered that for a second.

"Because we are in this together." Sarah gave her a sad smile and explained. "I believe that you have a great deal to do with your life and I would love to help you see it, but if you jump, that means I've failed."

Anna blinked at her.

Sarah didn't want to think of how much she was risking at that moment and how many psychiatric boundaries she was crossing by doing that but all she cared at the moment was Anna. Making Anna see that she wasn't alone.

Thing about feeling lost and hopeless, is that it can blind you to think that you're alone.

Sometimes you are alone.

But sometimes, like right now, you're just blind.

And you need to see it.

"You're not alone, Anna." Sarah searched her eyes.

A moment passed.

Everybody was so silent with hesitation and worries that for a couple o seconds, Sarah could only hear the whispers of the wind and small sound coming from Chicago in the middle of the night.

And then...

"I don't wanna jump."

Anna's voice was so quiet and shaken that Sarah had to ask again just to make sure that she had heard it right.

"I don't wanna jump." This time Anna said loudly, with more confidence. More sure.

Sarah, with a calm that she didn't knew were was coming from, nodded at her direction with a proud and warm smiled.

"I don't want to jump it neither."

Sarah didn't want to rush things but a the same time she knew that with every second more that it went by, Anna could change her mind.

And Sarah wouldn't take that.

"So you have to trust me now ok?" Reese said with a firm yet gently voice. With the corner of her eyes she saw two figures approach Anna, and with a second look she recognized Jeff and Noah. "We are going to help you come down to safety ok?" Anna hesitated, but nodded. "Good, look at me. Anna, behind you, there are Noah and Dr. Clarke. All you have to do is extend your hands and they will take you back ok?" And because she knew that Anna needed that, she added: "I trust them, so you can trust them too."

What happened next was so fast that not even Sarah followed. As soon as Anna moved her hands behind her, they were already taking her down and another nurse was coming with a sedative to give it to her before dragging her away from the scene and down the ED again with Dr. Charles following close by their side.

Some people clapped. Some people looked with disbelief. Some people went back to their duties like if nothing had happened. Some people stayed around whispering with each other.

But Sarah didn't really saw any of it.

Because as soon as Anna was out of her sight, she made the mistake of looking down again.

Chicago seemed like a infinite of lights from up there.

And all that Sarah could think was how the lights seemed to call her. Drawn her.

Sundely Sarah understood.

For somebody, with so much pain, so much loss, so much grief, the lights seemed to offer a solution.

A promise of peace.

It would be so fast. So easy to just let go.

And then the pain would stop. The grief would end.

Was it what Wheeler had thought?

Sarah herself could see the appeal.

But...

"Sarah, please."

That voice again.

For a minute she had forgotten that she wasn't alone.

But Ethan, Will, a couple of people that she didn't recognized was still there.

But what surprised Sarah the most was the look im Dr. Rhodes's eyes.

If he was hesitant before, now he was white with concern. He had two hands this time extended at her direction.

He looked right into her eyes.

Blue met brown.

She thought he looked like a little kid. So afraid. And she realized that maybe that was exactly how he felt.

Because his mother had jumped.

"Sarah, please, come down."

And then Ethan was coming closer, also extending his hand.

And Sara felt deared.

She felt loved.

And so she understood a big difference between the reason of jumping or not jumping.

Sarah had something worth living for.

She could see it.

She wouldn't jump.

So she stepped away from the edge, coming back to the safety of the hard ground and the warmth of Connor Rhodes hands as he helped her down.

Everything went by in a blur after that.

Sarah had to wait until Anna's parents got to the hospital, to explain what had happened to them, and then wait for Anna to come out of the sedatives so she could talk to her about what happened.

Anna was very confused, but she was able to respond to some of the questions Dr. Charles and Reese were asking her, and that was a good sign for now.

After that, Sarah excused herself to get some air and stepped out of the ED into the Chicago night. She noticed that morning was coming, and that meant that her shift was ending but somehow she doubted that she was going home and getting any sleep any time soon.

Because she wasn't feeling that good.

All the confidence, the technical thoughts, the acting mode was off now.

She knew that she had crossed a line.

And that would have consequences.

Speaking of that...

"Sarah? Goodwin is asking for you."

Came Maggie's voice from behind her. Sarah took a deep breath and without waiting to much, turned around to make her way up to the director office.

Maggie gave her a reassuring smile and squeezed her hand. "It's going to be okay, you did the right thing."

And all Sarah could do was nod.

"I don't regret it."

She heard herself saying as soon as she stepped into Goodwin's office, finding Dr. Charles already there with a unreadable look on his face.

"Pardon me?"

"I know I crossed the line. That what I did was totally against the rules and a huge risk."

"I don't disagree Dr. Ree..." Goodwin started but Sarah had not finished yet.

"I know that it could have ended bad and that it would be my fault but I acted out in instinct because I thought that it was the best shot I got and I have no intention of keeping this an habit, furthermore I wouldn't jump but I'm just glad that it worked and..."

"Dr. Reese."

Sarah had to stop her rambling when Goodwin's powerful voice filled the office.

"I understand." Goodwin told her, softening her voice.

"But don't ever put me or this hospital in this position again."

"I have no intentions to do it." Was all that Sarah could manage to say because she was too much surprised by Goodwin's reaction.

She was expecting a hard time.

But she got a understanding instead.

Goodwin dismissed the two of them after that and Sarah looked unsure to Dr. Charles direction waiting for what her mentor was going to say but he was already half way past the hall to the elevator.

"Dr. Charles?"

He stopped.

For a moment Reese tried to think of something to say but then he was turning around and coming towards her.

And then he hugged her.

As soon as it started it ended but he had hugged her. Like the day she had cried in his arms.

He could have called her off, disagreed with her, even start a discussion but he had hugged her.

Sarah suppressed the small voice coming from deep in her mind reminding her of how much sometimes she thought of Dr. Charles as father figure.

Something that Sarah never really had.

And then he left her there, marching towards the elevators direction without looking back. Reese knew that he was going to talk to her later. That it wasn't over.

But Sarah was a maelstrom of feelings at that moment.

And because she didn't know what to think anymore, she decided to take whatever she had right now and don't give it to much thought.

Because it had worked.

And for now, everything was okay.

On her way down the ED she met with Will and Ethan. And by the look on both of their faces, she suspected that they were talking about her.

And by the way that all the other staff from the hospital kept throwing looks at her wherever she went, it seemed like the whole Med was talking about her.

Will was the first to approach her.

"I'm just glad it worked." He gave her a tired smile and then rested a hand on her shoulder. "You did good Reese, you did good."

And then excused himself leaving her with Ethan's company.

Sarah thought of Ethan as a friend.

More than a mentor, a superior.

A friend.

Somebody who had stood by her side and helped her grow since the first day as a resident.

He was looking deep into her.

She gave him a little shrug.

Ethan gave a little chuckle.

"Why did you do it?"

Sarah considered his question for a second.

"Because she needed something to live for."

And then Ethan was giving her an approving nod and a warm smile.

"Go rest Sarah. We can talk tomorrow. For now, rest."

She met Natalie at the on-call room and because she had the same look upon her face, Sarah knew that despite the fact that Natalie journey had just began, she was already aware of what had happened.

"Hey Reese! I heard what you did."

She started. "I don't think that anybody here besides you could have done something like that. I'm really really glad it worked out and just wanted you to know that if you need to talk, I will be here."

Sarah and Natalie weren't exactly very close. They just worked together basically but Sarah knew that if there was somebody that would always offer a shoulder to cry on was Natalie.

Always friendly and kind.

But again, Sarah wasn't feeling to much talkative, so she just smiled back at the doctor and whispered a "thank you" before gathering her things to go home.

Because despite the fact that she was very thankful (and a little bit surprised) for all the respect and kindness that she was getting from her Med family, sundely she just felt like going home.

Alone.

Because since she had broke up with Joey, she was all alone.

But on her way out, after waving everybody goodbye and trying to ignore the looks that some people were throwing at her, she heard one more voice calling her name.

"Reese."

Dr. Rhodes voice lapped the worries and hesitation that it carried before. Now he sounded, and looked, angry. Mad at something that Sarah had no idea what it was but knew that it was now directed to her.

And that was everything that she didn't need at the time.

But she took a deep breath, adjusted her coat more closely to her body and waited for him to keep going.

Rhodes, that also looked like going home, dressed out of the hospital clothes, came closer to her.

"What do you think you were doing?"

He asked. Coldly.

"Excuse me?" Was all that Sarah could manage to say.

"I asked what do you think you were doing? Last night? Playing the hero?"

It took just a moment for Sarah to understand what he was talking about but she didn't had time to reply because he kept going.

"Do you have any idea how many lines did you break? How much risks did you take? All for what? Trying to save the day?"

This time he sounded more angry.

But Sarah was so tired.

She felt like she had jumped out of a building and survived.

How ironic, she thought.

So because she just wanted to go home, have a bath and drink some wine, she just shrugged before answering.

"I do, actually. But it worked. For now. So let's just go with it, ok?"

And without waiting for a reply she turned to go her way. But again, the voice stopped her.

"Go with it? So I'm just suppose to go with it? And then what?"

This time, Connor's voice sounded hurt. When Sarah looked back at him and found his eyes, Instead of angry, there was pain. And Sarah didn't understand why he would be feeling like that.

Until she did.

He wasn't mad at her. Or the situation. He was hurt because his mother had jumped.

And he didn't do anything.

Because he couldn't.

"You said it yourself Dr. Rhodes." Sarah gave him a sad smile. "We can't jump in and save everyone. It's just not possible. But we did save this one. For now, she's safe. So what I'm saying is that we should take this as a win and rest."

And then because she felt like it was the right thing to do, she added.

"I'm tired. What about you? Aren't you tired?"

Just like that, she saw Connor Rhodes's mask fall from his face, and for that moment she could see his pain, his grief, his tiredness, and something more that she couldn't read.

And he was looking at her like if he never really had saw her before.

"Yes" His voice was barely a whisper. "I'm tired."

"So let's go home. Tomorrow we can deal with whatever it comes." She tried to give him a comforting smile before turning to make her way to the train station to go home.

"I have a car." Connor said, stopping her again.

She turned and saw a glint of amusement in his eyes as his mouth tried for a little smile.

"Oh?" She smiled back, because when Connor Rhodes smile, you smile. It was irresistible, she noticed while trying to suppress a blush on her cheeks.

She failed.

He noticed and his smile just went bigger.

"Let me drive you home."

She could say no. That it wasn't necessary. She could take the train. Wasn't she feeling like going home alone? Wasn't that why she had dismissed Natalie's offer to talk? She should thank him and go her way.

Or she could accept his offer and let him drive her home. Him, this man that she barely knew despite the fact that they had been working together for almost two years now.

She wished she could know him more.

So she nodded his direction and accepted his arm when he offered it to her.

It could be her tiredness speaking, but it felt good.

Natural.

And so she let him direct her to the parking lot where his car was parked and agreed when he offered to get some breakfast before going home.

The night had been tough but it had worked out.

So now if she could enjoy a little time of peace with a familiar face, she was going to take it.

Perhaps she was needing company after all.

And perhaps so was he.


	2. Things Change

Three weeks went by in a blur.

One day she was still bothered by the looks that some people were throwing at her and then just like it was supposed to go, people found another matter or incident to gossip about.

Sarah sighed in relief when she stepped in the hospital's snack bar later on friday's night and noticed that no heads turned to her direction with prying eyes.

Now she could go back to how things were before that case with Anna.

Or at least, try to go back.

But Sarah didn't really think that that would happen.

And she was not even sure that she wanted to.

Since that night, things had changed a little bit around Med, especially in matters of Sarah's relationship with the Chicago family.

It was like after that event, people were treating her with more respect. More confidence in what she was doing.

Like if now she was more trustworthy.

Sometimes Sarah liked it.

Sometimes, she hated it.

It wasn't like if she didn't know that some people, or well, most part of the people, doubted her ability as a psychiatrist.

Her mother had laughed when she told her she was applying for the residence.

Joey had said from the beginning that she belonged in pathology.

The few (three?) friends that she had made at Med school tried to pretend to support her but she had been able to see the despise in their eyes when she discussed the matter with them on the first (and last) time they hanged out together to catch-up a little bit after university.

The staff from the psychology floor took their time warming up to her.

God, even Sarah doubted herself.

She could have applied for the Trauma vacancy spot that was open since Wheeler's death and go back down to the ED.

There at least, people were more close to her.

Maggie, April, Dr. Choi...

They were basically her family.

Ethan had said that once and she had stuck with that since then.

She could have tried.

But she didn't.

Because she meant what she had said to Dr. Charles that day a week ago when the hospital system had been hacked.

She wasn't quitting.

She was not a quitter.

She was persistent. And dedicated. And hard worker. And even if sometimes it was too hard, she had to admit that she was getting each time more attached to the ideia of helping fix people's mind.

Human mind was the most powerful, mysterious and dangerous thing that existed.

And she could help with understanding that by using her own.

She was down to it now.

So she liked that she was making her name around Chicago Med but knew that she would have to work five times harder to maintain it.

Sometimes they get a win, and Sarah was going to take every single win that she could.

So smiling for herself while she waited for her order to be prepared, she missed Dr. Rhodes entering the hall and making his way to the cafe.

She only noticed his presence when he stopped by her side and dropped a casually "Hey Reese" before calling the attention of the waitress and ordering his snacks as well.

Sarah took a second to recompose herself.

Connor Rhodes was still a mystery to her.

They had been seeing each other with more frequency around the ED since that night. Sometimes she was paged to follow Dr. Charles with some pacient that Rhodes was treating. Sometimes it was the opposite.

Or sometimes, like right now, they would just run into each other.

And despite the fact that Sarah didn't feel that hesitant with talking with him anymore, she had never done something stupid again like offering him a high five.

Pathetic.

"Ending your shift?" She was brought back to the present by his voice. She took her order from the bar before turning to him and sending him a friendly smile.

"Yeah. I'm about to go home. You? She asked politely.

"Naw! Just beginning. I think it's going to be a long night, I'm down to the ED today. Back to trauma's day, I guess." He said while leaning on the wall by their side, waiting for his order to be ready. He had a hint of amusing in his eyes saying that and by minimal that it was, it was contagious, so Sarah had to smile back a him.

She was awkwardly between excusing herself and leaving him there, once she already got what she ordered and was about to go home, or staying and trying to keep the small conversation going for a little bit more just for the hell of it.

But he silenced her thoughts by asking. "How was your day?"

She gave a little shrug.

"Not too much. Except for this pacient, have you heard? He had been here for four days, was admitted because of a small overdose and we were waiting for his body to go clean before giving him the actual psychological treatment. He went discharged today." And after taking a sip of her coffee, she added "He was kind of creepy."

And as Connor's eyebrows went up she recognized her mistake. "Witch I should never have mentioned."

Rhodes chuckled and Sarah had to stop to admire how beautiful he was doing so.

Damm him.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna say anything. But once you did, how creepy?" He asked with a curious expression.

"Well, he was kind of obsessed with me I think, but I don't now, it could just be..."

"Hey there you are! I was looking for you!" Her rambling was interrupted by Robyn Charles.

Oh. Right.

He had a girlfriend.

And that was Dr. Charles daughter.

"Hi Reese!" She brunette told her with a kind smile.

"Hey!"

Sundely Sarah thought that it would be better that if she left the couple alone. She had to go home by the way.

"Han...anyway! I'm heading off. See you guys tomorrow? Have a good night." And then without waiting an answer she was turning and making her way out of the cafe.

What she didn't see was the fact that Connor's eyes followed her trough the entire way out with a mix of confusion and concern.

But about 20 minutes later when she stepped out of Chicago Med to go home, if she had a strange feeling of being followed, she ignored, because she was tired and all she needed was to take a nap.

\- IDWTJ -

Mini Crossover with Chicago PD

Lindsay got the call while she was gathering her things to go home.

She had heard the fuss downstairs about thirty minutes before but assuming that it was something that the patrols could take care of, she didn't bother to go ask if they needed anything.

If Intelligence was needed, they would call.

And so they did.

She didn't recognize the address that they gave her where a suspect was threatening to kill the woman who lived at the apartment. Neighbors had heard the noise and called the police.

It could be a robbery. It could be a kidnap attempt. It could be an abuse case.

It could basically be anything but the truth was that Lindsay was always on the edge when the victim was a woman.

There were a million of scenery possibilities and none of them were good.

Voight was the only one with her at the base, the others had already gone home. She had stayed waiting for Jay to go (things were still pretty shaken between the two of them) to talk with Voight about something before calling it a day.

She turned to make a sign to call his attention but he was already by her side on the phone calling the team for backup.

Together they made their way down to get the cars without wasting more time.

The more the time went by, less chances they had.

-IDWTJ-

It took them 11 minutes to get there; 20 seconds to get update with the little info that Kim Burgess had, 4 minutes to decide to move and climb the stairs till the 5th floor where the victim lived and 6 seconds after they announced the typical "Chicago PD, open the door" to hear a woman's scream and the unmistakable noise of 3 shots.

But it took Lindsay only a second to recognize the victim as soon as they got into the apartment putting the suspect down.

Her heart stopped for a moment as she looked at the body in the middle of the living room.

She felt fear. Concern. Agony.

But then Erin jumped into action.

She had too.

Because this was her friend.

And her friend would not die on her hands.

While she kneeled by the side of the brunette trying to apply pressure on the wounds to contain the bleeding without too much success, she heard Jay talking on the cellphone as he came do stand by their side as well.

The paramedics were already on their way, so that meant that he could only be speaking too...

"...26 years old; two shots on the belly and one closer to her chest...yeah...listen, get Dr. Halstead on the phone and tell him it's his brother, fast, come on..."

The woman gasped for air and Lindsay tried to stay calm and stop the bleeding, but there was too much blood.

Too much blood.

Shit.

She heard the commotion downstairs and just hoped that it meant that the paramedics had arrived while whispering comforting things to the woman that seemed awake but barely conscious.

"Hang in there. You're doing good, come on now. You're going to be okay..."

Erin was torn between meaning to reassure the victim or herself.

As the paramedics replaced her position, Lindsay watched with fear and heard Jay by her side, still on the phone.

"Will, we're bringing..." He squeezed Erin's hand before continuing.

"It's Sarah."

He closed his eyes.

"Will, we're bringing Sarah in."


	3. So Much Pain

Oh well, hello there!

Thank you so much for all the feedback and reviews. It's absolutely a pleasure to write when you know that there are people enjoying it.

Just want to explain what I'm trying to do with this fic...well, as you will see at this chapter, I like to build things. So that's why I'm trying to show different perspectives of the same things. This way, I think it's possible to explore the characters of the show, showing their thoughts and feelings. Something that I miss in the show is that there are little to nothing of their personal lifes and their relationship with each other. Sometimes they just want us to buy some relationships, like Connor and Robin, without really giving us time or reason for it. I like building relationships. Bonding. Slowly but truly.

So, of course that there will be more focus on Rheese on the next chapters, but I would also like to explore Sarah's relationship with the rest of them , like Ethan (one of my personal favorites) for example.

And, as you might have noticed, English it's not my first language. So I'm really really sorry for the occasional mistakes. Please feel welcome to give me advices and let me know if you find anything wrong so I can fix it to you.

Also, let me know what you like or dislike about my writing or were I'm going with this story.

So enough is enough.

Good reading and hope you enjoy it.

love, always.

* * *

Will Halstead was having a calm night. Which he was absolutely grateful for.

The last couple of days had been tough on him and now that he could actually take a break, a calm night round would be extremely welcomed.

After leaving a pacient at Trauma 3, he asked April to get the right medicines and the discharge papers ready. Kid got carried away and drank too much in a party.

Nothing unusual.

He met Dr. Rhodes and Dr. Choi laughing with Maggie at the front desk. He smiled to himself. Maggie was always the heart and the soul of Med. She had something with her that would drawn everybody close.

She was unique.

"Can I be part of the joke?" He asked leaning on the counter and raising one eyebrow in her direction.

"Oh dear, I'm afraid you already are." She answered with a playful air. "I was just telling Dr. Choi and Dr. Rhodes that I have to play the boss and put this nurses in their place when the three of you are working down here at the same time." She completed while throwing a look around with prying eyes. She spoted a young blonde nurse looking at them and with a serious face signed her to go do her job.

"See? I'm not paid enough for this. Unbelievable."

Will didn't catch the meaning of her words and looked at the others for help but they seemed as lost as him.

"And why is that, Maggie?" Rhodes asked with a glint of amusement in his eyes.

"Oh? Have you looked yourself in the mirror? You three are like gods dressed in this white straps and even when you're covered with blood you still look hell attractive. And when you all are working together, I have to show these unloved ladys that they don't stand a chance." Maggie explained with an air of superiority. "Because you're all mine!" She concluded blinking an eye for the three of them.

Ethan gave her a playful suggestive smile, while Will laughed hard and Connor looked down a little bit abashed.

"Have you heard of the top three?" April said joining them and handing Dr. Halstead the discharge papers from the drunk kid.

"Top what?" He asked while checking and assigning the documents.

"Of which one of you is the best."

"Oh! Best doctor?" Ethan asked with delight.

"Amongst other things." April corrected with false innocent eyes.

"Ohooo, that's ease, I'm the best doctor!" Ethan said while proudly hitting on his chest.

"Hey, not so quickly Military Man!" It was time for Connor to argue. "I'm the best surgeon, there's no doubt in that. Right Maggie?" He asked her for help but she was too entertained with the display of masculinity to answer.

"No. Wait!" Will wasn't staying out of this. "I think you're all forgetting about the most important attribute here." He said while shaken his head a little bit.

"Which it is?" Rhodes asked falsely annoyed.

"Who has the best hair!" Will answered proudly, obviously waiting for the praise.

"Dr. Rhodes, off course." Came Maggie's answer.

Ethan laughed even more, April agreed while smiling and Connor kissed Maggie's hand throwing him a daring look.

But Will's argument was interrupted by Nicole, one of the nurses calling for him from across the desk telling that his brother was on the phone saying that it was urgent.

The energy around the room changed.

The playful banter was replaced by worried expressions.

Because it was Detective Jay Halstead on the phone. At half past one in the morning. With urgent matters.

Will didn't waste time getting the phone from the nurse, but took a deep breath before answering his brother.

"What happened?"

The others noticed with concern how Halstead face turned white.

Maggie stepped closer waiting to know what was going on.

Ethan and Connor exchanged worried looks.

"Wait, you mean Reese?"

They all froze.

His expression turned angry.

"You're bringing...? Jay, what happened to Sarah?"

April knees almost gave up.

Maggie stepped back with surprise.

Ethan hesitated.

Connor's heart skipped a beat.

Because Sarah Reese...

Their coworker.

Their friend.

Their family.

Was coming in with three shots in her chest.

And they needed to save her.

-IDWTJ-

Sarah had to suppress the persistent feeling of being watched and followed through the whole way from Chicago Med to her small but comfy apartment that night.

She had to stop two times on her way to throw a look behind herself, searching for something different or out of place that could justify the way she was feeling.

But she found nothing. Both times.

She lived in a peaceful (sometimes to the point of boring) neighborhood 20 minutes by train from Chicago Med.

Her building was just across the street from the station. Which was great because that meant she could sleep a couple of minutes more and still be ready and in time to go to work.

Security wasn't really a priority during her routine because even if Chicago wasn't known for being one of the safest citys in the country (but thanks god for the CPD), she believed that the most terrible thing that had happened on her street in the 2 and a half years since se had bought her apartment was when Mrs. Spencer's fat cat was hit by a car early on a Saturday morning and the woman had made a scandal, waking up the whole neighborhood to see the commotion of his death.

After that, the old lady had brought 5 more cats home. And Sarah was always getting their visit. Even got a dead bird on the carpet at her front door once.

Sweet.

This time when she got into her apartment there were no dead birds, or dead anything, on her front door carpet though. Taking off her heavy winter clothes after closing and locking the door, she went directly to her small kitchen, opened her fridge in search for something to eat. The coffee she had before leaving the hospital just helped make her even more hungry.

She sighed when she realized that there was nothing too good in there (actually there wasn't anything at all), because she didn't go grocery shop in like, forever.

So friday night called for pizza.

She quickly dialed her favorite place, ordered her pizza (and a desert, of course) before going into her bedroom to take a shower and change her clothes. The only thought that made her leave her comfy bathtub was the fact that her meal could arrive at any moment.

So she changed into her favorite yoga pants and an old T-shirt and went back to her living room.

Sarah stopped for a moment went she felt a rush of cold air passing through her. Looking at the small balcony at the end of her bedroom hall and saw that it was totally opened, the curtains flying all around along with the hard wind.

She stared conflicted at it.

Was it open before?

Had she forgotten to close it before leaving her apartment that morning? No. That was almost impossible because she always closed.

Always.

So why was it open now?

The creepy feeling sundely returned to her again.

She quickly went to close it but a voice stopped her in the middle of the way.

"Dr. Reese."

She didn't scream. Didn't even turn.

She just froze.

Because she remembered that voice.

It belonged to Peter. Peter Gomez. A 37 years old man, addicted to drugs, alcohol and God knows what more. The man she had been treating, or trying to, since he was admitted to the ED with clear symptoms of overdoses.

But what had really stuck with her about him, was the fact that he had showed a special interest in her right on the first time they had met. He would be asking for her all day. He would only talk to her. Only take medicines given by her. Only follow her instructions.

Dr. Charles had considered taking her out of the case but she had dismissed his worries saying that she was fine, he just needed help and maybe she could be the only one to do so.

But now he was at her apartment.

Sarah's mind started working hard with options as she turned to face him.

He was sitting on her couch, looking down at the gun in his hands. Taking a second look Sarah noticed that he was sweating a lot and looked restless.

He could be on drugs again.

Or he could be without then.

What could be even worse.

She tried to remember some way to deal with the situation in all her studies but came up with nothing. Because there was nothing in the books about how act when someone breaks into your apartment.

She was on her own.

"Peter? What are you doing here?" Reese asked hesitantly while looking around for some object or way out to protect herself in case he turned violent.

"I need help, Dr. Reese." He said looking at her for the first time. He looked anxious.

And on the edge.

"You need to help me! You're the only one who can help me Dr. Reese, can't you see?" He started moving his hands in hers and his direction while talking. All that Sarah could focus on was the gun at his hands. "I need more drugs. I need them but I don't want them anymore you know? I wanna stop but I can't, it's too late now. I need help! You have to help me!" He stood up and stepped forward this time.

Sarah stepped back.

"Ok. Listen to me Peter, I can help you ok?" She tried to hide her fear but couldn't help the way her voice shook. "I can help you. But you need to let go of the gun okay? Drop the gun and we will go back to the hospital..."

But that seemed to be the wrong thing to say.

Peter lost control and knocked down the small center table on her living room. Sarah startled with the sound but thought that maybe that was good because her neighbors could probably hear it.

Peter directed his angry to her.

"I DON'T NEED A HOSPITAL." He shouted. "I'm not going back! I'M NOT! You're going to help me! Here! You need to help me here, we're not..."

"Ok. No hospitals Peter, but you need to tell me how can I help you okay?" Sarah needed to gain some control back.

She could do this.

She had to.

"You have to make the pain go away." He said pointing the gun between them again. "The pain won't go away so make it go away, I can't take it anymore, you have to..."

"Just breathe for a moment okay? Peter look at me. To make the pain go away first you need to calm down right?" She waved her hands in her couch direction. "Why don't you sit down for minute so we can talk ok? Let go of the gun and sit..."

But again, she said the wrong thing.

Because this time he lost totally control.

Peter's range led him to destruction.

He overturned her only armchair. Ripped off her soft curtains. Knocked down all her ornaments and pictures on the bookcase. Smashed her table glass to pieces.

For a moment all that Sarah could do was watch terrified while her home was destroyed. The noise was loud enough to deaf her for a couple of seconds.

But then she jumped into action.

Because that could be her only opportunity to scape.

So she ran and took her keys from the entrance hall and tried to open her door with her shaking hands but he was faster than her.

He pressed her to the wall.

She screamed. Tried to turn. To kick. To do something.

But he was too strong.

Too strong.

She didn't gave up though and that seemed to make him even more crazy. Because he threw her to the floor of her kitchen and pinned her down with both his legs.

Sarah fought back and with a rush of adrenaline was able to spin him and crawl away.

She wouldn't give in.

She was relaying on the only hope that she had. That somebody had heard the noise and called the police. She just had to make it until they got there.

So she tried to talk some sense into him.

Again.

"No! Peter! Look at me! You're hurting me so stop and let me help you..." but she watched terrified how he had a blank expression and didn't listened to her.

Sarah would be lying if she said that she remembered everything that happened after that.

She heard the police at her door. She heard Peter questioning her in his delirium if she had called then. She heard her only scream when she saw him pointing the gun in her direction. She heard only the first shot.

But then she just felt the pain.

So much pain.

She tried to move, to breathe, to respond, but she couldn't.

She heard somebody talking to her and felt pressure on her chest. She knew that voice. It was a woman. But she couldn't think of who it was.

She saw a glimpse of red and blue lights blinding her while hearing different types of noise at the same time.

She felt the pain increase and had the sensation off being in movement.

Again she heard somebody, a different voice this time, speaking to her. She thought she also knew that voice somehow.

She tried to answer but found out she couldn't even move.

She tried to fight but she was sundely too tired.

The pain was taking her to point of oblivion.

The only thing she recognized was the ED red sign.

Then a pair of eyes looking down at her with concern.

The last thing she thought before loosing all her senses was that those eyes were beautiful.

So full of light.

But then darkness took her.

And Sarah just welcomed it.


End file.
